A lot has happened in those 4 months. I brought this lifestyle to my husband. He was on board, but hesitant. We have embraced this change in dynamic, abandoned it, embraced it.... You get the idea.
Yesterday was a tough day for us. And, even though in the end we reconnected, things were said, and in the blink of an eye we were right back to fighting like we used to. We don't fight often, but when we do it can get ugly. I just have a temper and a mouth and use them to throw daggers with my words, going right for the throat if you will.
Hindsight being what it is, I now realize I was too wound up. I wasn't getting what I needed or my release, neither was he. We have a houseguest, have had one for about a month now. So spankings and intimacy have been almost non-existent in our little house. I guess I let it build until I exploded.
When the smoke cleared and we both had time to breath, he came to me, hugged me and we talked. Unfortunately with kids and a guest that was all we could do. But, as always we came out a little stronger and closer, but the words said still ringing in our ears.
I have a very type A take charge dominant personality. Submitting to my husband is easy when I choose to. Submitting all the time is hard. He is strong, but his desire to please me sometimes leads to his being more passive and not stepping up as much as he should. I'm learning...he's learning. I need a strong leader, even when I don't think I want it. I do believe as we commit more to this lifestyle and each other we will find the strength in each other to be what each of us desires and needs.
He is my Rock! Our journey is unique to us, and together I know we will always come out better and stronger, no matter how many times we stumble along the way.
He told me tonight that after yesterday he plans to embrace this more, that excited yet terrified me! Careful what you ask for!
I do know deep down, this is for us! We are already closer and stronger. I'm looking forward to it, even if the thought of punishment spankings make me cringe! I trust him with my whole heart, and welcome the strength and intimacy I know this brings as we embrace our roles a Dominant Leader and loving Sweet Submissive Wife.
