Sunday, March 9, 2014

Spring Forward - Clocks and DD

Well it's been a fairly exciting and fairly boring couple of weeks. Such is life! We've been sick, super busy, stressed and relaxed! Thank goodness it's March!

To be completely honest there hasn't been a lot of spankings going on. Between being busy, gone on a trip, not feeling great, it just hasn't happened. AND I HATE IT! However, I am also happy. Confused? Yup, me too!

There was a couple times that Popeye called me on some sass, among other things and did what I want. He went to stop it and immediately spank it out of me. What did I do? I made excuses and argued my way out of that spanking. It's amazing how things can change and progress in a day or two...let's just say I don't see that happening again.

This past Friday, we had an unexpected surprise. A friend called and wanted our kids to come stay the night, they were doing a fun kids night. So Popeye and I decided to take advantage and use our few hours of freedom to not only de-stress from possibly the most stressful week ever, but also to jump start us if you will, back into what we both desire and need.

Oh it was a great night! As soon as we got home from dropping the kids off he was Dominant. Oh how I love when he embraces his dominance. He told me to shower, stay naked and clean the living room. He sat on the couch, watched me clean, gave a few orders, and then had his way with me. It was beyond great, and so so needed!

Something about this night changed us. We were on the fence with DD, back and forth before this. But, now it's Sunday night and I've been submissive and he's been dominant all weekend and it's been wonderful!

I didn't get another spanking this weekend. I've really worked hard to be submissive, not so much to avoid a spanking, but because I am trying to show him that I do want this, and hoping that by my being submissive it will help him to be more consistent with his dominance. I really do love pleasing him with my submission.

Today, has been a great day. We had a relaxing day at home, but got a lot done. By this evening I was feeling great, loving where we were with "us", but needing more. It's been a while since I've had a good hard spanking and I was just needing one. I had been reading some blogs (I actually read them more often then you would think, but don't always comment if the post is more than a few days old. Really need to read more frequently). Anyway, I just happened to read a post from Es May today (hope you don't mind me linking to your blog - and I hope it linked ok..first link!) Es May talked about asking for a spanking. It's funny how sometimes you read things just as you need to. I read her blog a couple times and after pondering it for a couple hours I did it.

I told Popeye, that I loved where we were, and I was in no way trying to tell him how to dominate, but I was starting to get antsy and I would love a good maintenance session tonight. He was very receptive, and about an hour later I got a great one. It wasn't too much, or too hard, but it was just what I was needing. Then as is usually the case, there was some intimate fun after, and the rest of the evening was just peaceful and right.

Our open communication is improving, he is starting to contribute more, and he embraces his role of dominance. Today yielded two new rules. They are - No more coats on the table (I am bad about taking my coat off and throwing it on our table). And, taking better care of the clothes in our bedroom. Our hamper is small, so he's decided when it's full it can be emptied in the laundry room rather than piled next to it. Can you tell Popeye is a bit of a clean freak? Yeah, just a little!

There was also something I asked for this week. I asked Popeye to not ask if I want sex, but just to do and take this week. Hoping this will continue on past the week, but wanted to start with a week for him to realize he's got this, and I am his and that includes his for the taking when he pleases.

I am really excited for where we are, and really looking forward to where we are going. Not only did we "spring" our clocks forward today, but we really sprung our DD life forward as well!

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Maintenance Mastered!

Don't let that title get you too excited! We really have NOTHING figured out. BUT, last week, we had what I'd like to think was the best maintenance session ever! Although if I'm being completely honest, it really shouldn't qualify as what most of us consider maintenance. Really it was more a good girl/fun spanking. But, if my HOH wants to call that maintenance, who am I am to argue?

We haven't been able to do much by way of TTWD, due to a house guest. The guest is gone, our house is now ours again (well, ours and a few small creatures that also inhabit it). This night, I was sitting in my chair, relaxing, when Popeye came up to me and held out his hand. Told me we were going upstairs, I needed maintenance. This is usually how we get back into the swing of things.

I have been wanting this, needing it. Waiting patiently for him to embrace his role. Then he does, and I FREAK! Maintenance? What? No! I'm tired, crabby, I was relaxing. I've been good...if I do say so myself, which I do! Yup, that is me. All I want is for my husband to embrace his dominance. Until he does that is! I am a walking contradiction. I am very dominant, and my husband really isn't. Unless I encourage it, and push, then he will but only if I'm submissive first. I want this. I want this even when I think I don't. I want him to take the lead without me feeling like I pushed him to. I am dominant because I feel I have to be (back story there, that may be another post). I don't want to be. I want to be his, his to take, his to lead, the one that trusts him and happily follows. I love making him happy and doing little things for him. But, I want him to push for those things even when I'm not playfully wanting to do it.

So, back to this maintenance night. I decided I better submit, that's what this is all about right? So, I followed him upstairs. He bent me over the bed. Gave me a few smacks with the horse whip thing we have (which I should note - I HATE) but then, that was pretty much it. My lecture was more seductive in tone, and the spanking was more fun and light and breezy. Followed by a little intimate dominance from my husband. Now, that I do love!

So, we are moving forward with really embracing this daily. Although I haven't really been spanked since. But, we've both been sick with that cold that seems to grab hold and last for weeks. We have talked though, and I think we are finally on the same page with this. Looking forward to what the future will hold, spankings and all!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Explosions and a Fresh Start

I started this blog 4 months ago, wrote one post and left it. Mostly because I couldn't update from my phone. Now I have a new toy to make updating easier and a much stronger need to blog.

A lot has happened in those 4 months. I brought this lifestyle to my husband. He was on board, but hesitant. We have embraced this change in dynamic, abandoned it, embraced it.... You get the idea.

Yesterday was a tough day for us. And, even though in the end we reconnected, things were said, and in the blink of an eye we were right back to fighting like we used to. We don't fight often, but when we do it can get ugly. I just have a temper and a mouth and use them to throw daggers with my words, going right for the throat if you will.

Hindsight being what it is, I now realize I was too wound up. I wasn't getting what I needed or my release, neither was he. We have a houseguest, have had one for about a month now. So spankings and intimacy have been almost non-existent in our little house. I guess I let it build until I exploded.

When the smoke cleared and we both had time to breath, he came to me, hugged me and we talked. Unfortunately with kids and a guest that was all we could do. But, as always we came out a little stronger and closer, but the words said still ringing in our ears.

I have a very type A take charge dominant personality. Submitting to my husband is easy when I choose to. Submitting all the time is hard. He is strong, but his desire to please me sometimes leads to his being more passive and not stepping up as much as he should. I'm learning...he's learning. I need a strong leader, even when I don't think I want it. I do believe as we commit more to this lifestyle and each other we will find the strength in each other to be what each of us desires and needs.

He is my Rock! Our journey is unique to us, and together I know we will always come out better and stronger, no matter how many times we stumble along the way.

He told me tonight that after yesterday he plans to embrace this more, that excited yet terrified me! Careful what you ask for!

I do know deep down, this is for us! We are already closer and stronger. I'm looking forward to it, even if the thought of punishment spankings make me cringe! I trust him with my whole heart, and welcome the strength and intimacy I know this brings as we embrace our roles a Dominant Leader and loving Sweet Submissive Wife.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Finally Here

Well, I am supposed to journal everyday which I haven't yet...not I thought maybe blogging would be better.

We have been trying DD for a couple months, but really it's only been the last couple weeks we've been living it fully. He is finally starting to really get it and enjoy the benefits. Although, I have to admit he is becoming very HOHie. But, that's what I wanted, right? I think...maybe...

This week has been interesting, especially today. He has been assigning tasks and following through on punishments. The biggest issue is my sass and show of disrespect. I will get irritated and go off...I hate this about myself and it was one of the main reasons I brought this to our marriage. Yes, I asked for this! Heellooo Crazy!!

Today started out great! He caught me in the bedroom gathering laundry and decided I needed a little maintenance/reminder spanking to keep me inline and help Motivate me as I completed what needed to get done today. Youch! His version of reminder and little  and mine are a little different! But, he was right, of course.

Unfortunately it didn't take long for me to show disrespect and sass. I was trying to ask my oldest a question and he kept interrupting and answering. The problem was that I knew he was wrong in his answer (he actually was) and I told him to 'Shut-up and let the kid answer!' ACK!!! I am toast and I knew it!! When he came in he confirmed my fear. So, rather than submitting and accepting what had happened, I proceeded to get my tone that I get and lecture him! We are still learning, but at this point we are both there enough to know I have a punishment coming and it won't be pretty. Because of activities and a house full of kids it's been delayed, which irritates me to no end. I'm anxious and nervous and irritated!!!

He could have handled it then, all kids were outside, perfect time. But, he chose not to. I know he is the leader and I should trust his judgement and follow his lead, but that's really hard when he doesn't do it MY way!!!

MY Way...hmmmm...that's a big issue in our marriage, I'm very overbearing and outspoken, and not always in a good way. I've lectured and humiliated him for far too long. I brought this to our marriage because I wanted the peace I know it will bring. Problem is that even though I want this, sometimes I don't. It's not convenient for me all the time. My fear is that he is now pushing past that and it's becoming a constant. I fear yet welcome this.

As we learn and grow together I'm sure there will be a lot more spankings as I am not great at submitting when I just don't want to. But, I trust him and his leadership and decisions and will honor them. I am looking forward to the peace and harmony that I know will come!